Being Less Perfect, More Human, Hope…. and M.E.

Don’t get me wrong.  There are days, where  no one can do right, nothing goes right and the world is against me.  Those days remind me of a song my mom used to sing to me when I was in those moods.  Of course, I just looked up the lyrics and none of them quite match, but it is close.  Here is our version:

No body  loves me.  Every body hates me.  Gonna eat worms until I die.  Big ones, fat ones, squishy, squirmy, skinny ones.  Gonna eats worms until I die.

Now that is pessimism at its squirmy, squishy best.  For the most part though, I am an optimist.  That doesn’t mean crappy stuff doesn’t happen in my life.  It does, often with fireworks too.  But I choose the positive outlook because if I get caught up in the negative, I will just not get out of bed anymore.

This also means I have to let go of perfection.  The other day someone said I needed to learn to be let down more.  I laughed.  He then mentioned he thought I must not be let down much based on how I act when I am.  I have to say, that made me want to laugh harder. It isn’t because I am not let down- a LOT.  I think it is because I still hope.  No matter how many times I am let down, I still hope.

I am not blind to the ugliness and let downs in life.  They happen.  I cry.  Then I sigh really deeply and move on.  That particular hope is gone.  But I have many, many more down in this Mary Poppins magic bag of mine.  I am not caught on the perfection, but I sure can hope for it.  If I don’t aim for perfection I will never get it, will I?  I think we will often fall a little short of aim, so I aim higher.

That does not mean I expect perfection out of others, but I allow and hope for the very best of them- and myself.  Madeleine L’Engle asked in my study today for us to list the times we have failed miserably.  Honestly, I sat there stymied.  That doesn’t mean I haven’t failed.  I have.  Over and over.  But it does mean that I am not caught up in the failure, I don’t dwell on it or, at least, not for long.  I let it die its wormy death and go on.

Aiming for perfection and expecting it are not necessarily tied to being perfect or not accepting less than perfection.  Just as well, it can be closely tied to imperfection, forgiveness and  hope.  If we but hope, we can get up, dust off and move on.

I choose to hope.  It makes life a little sunnier and adds more possibility than you can ever imagine.


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